“One Queen, Two Wheels”: Buckingham Palace Clarifies Queen Camilla’s Stance on the Moto-Royal Scandal
Just when the public thought the royal drama had reached its peak with Princess Anne’s jump into extreme motorsports, a new headline has emerged: The Battle of the Barn. Following rumors of a heated “discussion” over tea at Highgrove, Buckingham Palace has been forced to issue a secondary statement—this time regarding Queen Camilla.
Reports surfaced yesterday that the Queen Consort was seen “visibly bewildered” as a fleet of heavy-duty mechanical toolboxes was delivered to the palace, blocking the path to her favorite rose garden.
The “Sidecar” Compromise
In an effort to quell rumors of a royal rift, the Palace press office released a brief update this afternoon.
“Her Majesty the Queen fully supports the Princess Royal’s spirit of adventure,” the statement read, though witnesses noted the ink seemed to be smeared by what looked like a nervous tear. “However, Her Majesty wishes to clarify that she has declined the offer to join the ‘Royal Racing Team’ as a sidecar passenger. Her Majesty prefers her horsepower to be of the four-legged, hay-eating variety.”
Behind Closed Doors
Despite the polished Palace PR, “sources” (likely a very chatty footman) suggest that Camilla is less than thrilled about the new additions to the royal stables.
Apparently, the Queen Consort’s peaceful mornings have been interrupted by the sound of Anne “tuning her exhaust pipes” at 6:00 AM. One insider claimed: “Camilla was trying to enjoy a quiet Earl Grey when Anne did a wheelie past the breakfast room window. The Queen’s tiara didn’t fall off, but the marmalade certainly took a hit.”
The Queen’s Secret Demands
According to whispers from the Palace corridors, Queen Camilla has laid down a few “Golden Rules” for this new royal hobby:
-
No Burnouts on the Lawn: Any tire marks found on the pristine grass of Sandringham will be deducted from the royal travel budget.
-
Safety First: If Anne insists on racing, the bike must be fitted with a basket for a Jack Russell terrier (purely for aesthetic purposes).
-
Color Coordination: If the bikes are to be parked in the courtyard, they must be painted in “Regency Cream” or “Palace Blue” to avoid clashing with the architecture.
A Royal Fanbase
Surprisingly, the public is siding with the daring duo. Social media has exploded with memes of “The Fast and the Fabulous,” depicting Camilla in a racing suit made of floral silk. While the Palace denies that Camilla has secretly bought a leather jacket, she was spotted yesterday wearing a pair of very dark aviator sunglasses and looking curiously at a Ducati catalog.
“Camilla is the anchor of the family,” says royal commentator Barnaby Bellows. “She knows that if she can’t stop Anne, she might as well make sure the helmets are designer and the paddock has a decent selection of finger sandwiches.”
Family games
The Road Ahead
As the “shocking” news continues to trend, the Palace is trying to pivot the narrative toward a “Modern Monarchy on the Move.” Whether Camilla will eventually agree to wave the checkered flag at Anne’s first race remains to be seen.
