A DARK SHADOW OVER BUCKINGHAM PALACE! 2 MINUTES AGO! Prince WILLIAM urgently addressed the entire UK Crowds swarmed around the palace gates as he delivered the most devastating announcement of the year. With trembling breath, he said: “It is with unbearable grief that we report…”

Royal Shock! Prince William Dumps Title for… Stand-Up Comedy?!

LONDON, ENGLAND – The world of stiff upper lips and royal protocol has officially been turned upside down! In a stunning, unexpected announcement that has sent shockwaves through the Commonwealth, Prince William, Duke of Cambridge and heir to the throne, has declared he is stepping away from his royal duties—not for a quiet life in the country, but to pursue a career as a full-time stand-up comedian!

The news broke late last night via an unconventional source: a slightly blurry, shaky video posted to a new, mysterious TikTok account simply named @WillsTheWitty. In the 45-second clip, the future King, looking notably relaxed in a worn-out t-shirt and with a questionable baseball cap perched on his head, confirmed the astonishing career change.

“Look, I’ve had a great run with the ribbons and the handshakes,” the Prince stated with a mischievous glint in his eye. “But honestly, the pressure to always be… well, princely? It’s a killer. I need a new stage, a proper microphone, and an audience that appreciates a good dad-joke about corgis and commonwealth trade agreements.”

The Comedy Circuit Reacts

While Buckingham Palace is reportedly in “utter chaos” and holding emergency meetings, the reaction from the global comedy community has been one of bewildered excitement.

Kate Middleton, the Duchess of Cambridge, is said to be “fully supportive” of her husband’s unusual pivot. Sources close to the Duchess claim she has known about William’s secret passion for some time, often finding him practicing his delivery in front of the ornate drawing room mirrors. “She thinks his bit about Harry’s hair loss is hilarious,” one insider whispered. “Though she insists he needs new material on the dress code for royal weddings.”

Meanwhile, royal experts are scrambling to understand the constitutional implications. Can the next King really be called Your Majesty while holding a pint and telling jokes about airport security?

“It’s unprecedented!” exclaimed famed royal commentator, Lady Agnes Twaddle, on a breakfast news show. “This isn’t just about giving up polo. This is about replacing the Crown Jewels with a portable karaoke machine! What will the Queen say? Will he still wear a tuxedo or will it be leather jackets and chain wallets? The future of the monarchy hinges on his opening set!”

A Glimpse of the Gig

William is reportedly set to make his debut next week at a small, obscure club in Soho, under the stage name “Will Power.” His manager—who is rumoured to be a former Palace footman who secretly harboured dreams of becoming a Hollywood agent—has hinted at the Prince’s signature style.

The themes are expected to include:

Growing up in a Palace: The struggles of finding a decent Wi-Fi signal in a 1,000-year-old building.
Sibling Rivalry: Light-hearted jabs at his younger brother, Prince Harry, and life across the pond.
The Press: A dedicated ten minutes on the paparazzi, titled: “Yes, I am wearing the same shoes as last week. Judge me.”
The Balcony Wave: A detailed, physical comedy routine about the proper technique for not looking bored during a six-hour public appearance.

In a follow-up statement posted online, Prince William simply wrote: “Wish me luck. I hear the hecklers are brutal. At least I’m used to being publicly judged.”

If this gamble pays off, William could become the most surprising, and perhaps the funniest, royal the world has ever seen. If it fails? Well, he can always get his old job back… maybe. But for now, get ready for some serious royal roasts!